butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize