This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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