Small penises have feelings too.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
