your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
