either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
how drunk are you?
Several
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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