The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
