I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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