That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
