best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
