He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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