So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
