She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
