Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
