we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
