She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
