its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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