i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
