Moan for me like Helen Keller
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
