remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
