if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize