He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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