i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
