it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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