Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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