you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
