I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
