You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
