It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
