and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
