All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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