I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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