yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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