Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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