We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
