Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
