I need help removing her.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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