LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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