I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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