So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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