I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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