My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
