I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
