Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize