I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
