My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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