I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
