To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
