i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
