Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
