I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
