I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We're too hungover to prance.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
