You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize