you traded sex for a burrito?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
