a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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