wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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