you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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