I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
