This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish life had little blips of pornography
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.