his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
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Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..