Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that

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(216): View more from Ohio

Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.

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(912): View more from Georgia

I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong

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(310): View more from California

I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.

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(770): View more from Georgia

You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..

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