You're so nebulous sometimes
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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