Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.