Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.

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  (864): Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common. http://tfl.nu/z1qj
  Replies (7) Good night (846) Bad night (3412)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

  (904): View more from Florida

  FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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  (614): Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing. (904): FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift http://tfl.nu/ws8p
  Replies (18) Good night (7851) Bad night (1300)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  wow.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  But it's a REALLY good back rub.

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  (815): The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub. (928): wow. (815): But it's a REALLY good back rub. http://tfl.nu/3vfg
  Replies (27) Good night (5226) Bad night (1045)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.

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  (803): I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me. http://tfl.nu/ijqd
  Replies (14) Good night (3037) Bad night (1292)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"

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  (215): "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match" http://tfl.nu/jczj
  Replies (11) Good night (2096) Bad night (1210)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.

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  (630): I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up. http://tfl.nu/oo6k
  Replies (4) Good night (685) Bad night (1590)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

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  (303): Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face. http://tfl.nu/mcx6
  Replies (7) Good night (1845) Bad night (518)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good

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  (262): Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good http://tfl.nu/xfxr
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (575)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE

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  (678): SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE http://tfl.nu/551z
  Replies (17) Good night (669) Bad night (2562)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Is this a drinking picnic?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Is there another kind?

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  (231): Is this a drinking picnic? (701): Is there another kind? http://tfl.nu/hhhs
  Replies (3) Good night (1122) Bad night (446)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch

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  (785): Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch http://tfl.nu/29tb
  Replies (6) Good night (680) Bad night (335)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"

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  (612): Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing" http://tfl.nu/gmpq
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (362)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"

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  (240): Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin" http://tfl.nu/qnbq
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (632)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I can see the future and your future is full of penis

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  (718): I can see the future and your future is full of penis http://tfl.nu/ox19
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (214)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.

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  (860): I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person. http://tfl.nu/cae7
  Replies (1) Good night (164) Bad night (274)

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