i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
