and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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