I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
