either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
