I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
