areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
