You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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