They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
