i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
